rediscovering eden
Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the bright and morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart
Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are
I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours
Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me
whom shall i fear
whom shall i fear
i am yours
dailies
Sunday, May 21, 2006
-9:27 AM
The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and each will be rewarded according to their own labour. For we are God's fellow workers; you are God's field, God's building.
1 Corinthians 3: 8-9
So i was doing my quiet time and recently one of the question was to think about the people who have influenced you one way or rather. Tough question. Because there are just so many of them. Or rather so many of you who have made an impact in my life. But there are certain people who have made a huge contribution in my life.
i wasnt actually the nicest person when i was much younger. Stuck up, bo-chap and fearful... yeah i was like that when i was in my secondary school days and did i mention competitve. but definately those are not the only things. Basically i was very much a hard person to deal with or to talk to. Some people think other wise but that's because i was putting on a front. I was not ready to open up to them. And i think it really takes alot for Pearl my church leader at that time to change me, this stubborn rock. Her persistent calls and msgs during the week touched me. The more i dont really reply, the more she'll call to check out if things were ok. Tell me who wouldnt be touched. But of course that dint mean that i instantly responded to her all at once. I still had my stubborn side that refused to give in. As much as i wanted to tell her all about me and what truly happened through the week, the struggles that i faced, the pain whenever i looked at my parents quarrel or how much sometimes i wanted to run away, i dint. But God was faithful and merciful. He dint overlooked my problems. He made me realised humility first to Him then to others who truly cared for me. Today as i look back as a leader of youths under me. Youths that He has truly blessed me with, I look towards her example and the things she did that touched and impacted me. When my youth seem to be very surface in what they say to me or even when they just try to run away from you, i think of the young sheena that pearl had made an impact upon.
Friends are also just as important in shaping my life. Friends who never look down on where you came from. Friends who are willing to stand by you when your family was breaking up and you stand at another juncture of your life, deciding to road you should take. Friends like Eunice and Serene are indeed very hard to come by. Truly they are a blessing in my life. And truly the word Blessing is apt. For they are given to me from God and it's not by my merit that i got to know them and for them to stand by me when the tables were turned against me.
Through Eunice, i learnt the need to have a spirit of excellence in the things i do but more importantly, to anaylse things more detailedly. It's a skill that i really do envy and her words of wisdom and encouragement when my parents broke up, was helpful in plastering the wounds and lostness i felt. It wasnt easy for her as well im sure. Come on she wasnt a therapist that went through a course on "How to deal with friends whose parents' marriage are over the rocks". But her courage to even stand against the tide with me made me realised her sincerity and more importantly, He never fails..
Serene is one person whose heart is sincerely to worship God and her zest for God's work and her laughther is just so infectious. How can anyone not notice the radiance that beams in her. i remember the time when she came in between a difficult situation that both Eunice n i faced and how she mediated those ties... it was just touching. i can still remember what she said, that sometimes we just have to think 1st before we say anything. Trust me at that time she dint say until like wah we are the only ones who think 1st.. but she identified that she n infact many fell sort of that. She did not deflate my pride but instead she changed my pride.
There are many others who have sowned into my lives and i will talk about them another time. not that im dismissing them but because it's 2am in the morning and i want to sleep already.. But before i end, i want to say a Big thank you for those who even bother to read my blog. I know You care!! :)
Thursday, May 04, 2006
-10:28 AM
It is God who arms me with strength
and makes my way perfect.
2 Samuel 22: 33
Exams are finally over and yes everytime when i reach this stage.. it always seem so surreal. After the last paper i went back to my table trying to figure out what i have to study. haha silly me. Now that it's over.. you seem to have like the time of the world trying to figure what you dhould do next. haha darn i should have maked a list during the exam period. But oh wells i must say that i really enjoyed myself and the company of a few good friends mugging through this period. For the prayers and their constant support in motivating one another.. and the little notes here and there, to the 2 precious angels whom God has sent from above, you know who you are, thank you... Truly as we share in each other's lives, it makes the walk easier and haha more enjoyable as well ( i remember the waddd ssuupp... and haha the long lashes and painted nails!!!!!.. n how u all tekan me!!!!) Thank you once more.
I thank God for His faithfulness even as He watches and guides me throughout this period. Although it's the mugging period and you know at such times you do fall away when you become too caught up with work.. I am thankful that he reminded me that it was important to sharpen my axe with Him first. It's strange coz i realised that it's always such stressful periods when you start cherishing the relationship and seek Him the most. But I dont want it to be like that. To worship Him only when im required to or because it's right. I dont want to worship Him in hope that as i lift His name on high especially during this period, He will lift my cap on high as well. I dont want to worship Him conditionally. And i guess this mugging period has brought me to think deeper about the heart of worship. Worshipping not for the sake of worshipping and with no strings attached. But to worship and praise God even as we face such struggles, knowing that He will stregthen us and He is faithful. And my God, my heavenly king has been such in fact more than that.
Now the holidays are here and a friend has just left for exchange. It was quite sudden but melissa and i managed to send her off at 11pm before her flight at 1am in the morning! Erin, if you are reading this where ever you are, do take care! Most importantly have fun!!!Love loadz.. :)
