Who am I, that the Lord of all the earth
Would care to know my name
Would care to feel my hurt
Who am I, that the bright and morning Star
Would choose to light the way
For my ever wandering heart

Not because of who I am
But because of what You've done
Not because of what I've done
But because of who You are

I am a flower quickly fading
Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean
A vapor in the wind
Still You hear me when I'm calling
Lord, You catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am
I am Yours, I am Yours

Who Am I, that the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
and watch me rise again
Who Am I, that the voice that calmed the sea
Would call out through the rain
And calm the storm in me

whom shall i fear
whom shall i fear
i am yours

sheena seng
fearfully and wonderfully made
Psalm 139

-8:35 AM

You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.

1 john 4: 4

How comforting it is to know that God is so much bigger than what we can imagine. Time and time i often hear how we box Him up limiting not what He could do but what we imagine Him to be able to do. I used to wonder how if the bible could record miracles after miracles, close encounters with Him that are so spectacular or even to just healings for the blind and the dead. Those things happened then. But why not now? Why cant we witness such miracles as well. Why when we pray for someone with a simple cough or a flu, it just doesnt seem to work?

This week i learnt that prayer is more than just a special confrontation with God. It is more than asking for what we need or want to see. It is a time to "paga". To draw boundaries on the areas in our lives, people whom we are concerned with. It is a spiritual warfare that can be either "chronos"( like as in chronological order, so consistently) or "kairos" a strategic timing that the He would lead us to pray about. And i appreciate what Dutch Sheets mentioned. Today it is not because miracles do not happen anymore but we just dont expect miracles to happen. We are not expectant of the greater things that He can provide or do. But it just take abit of patience and perserverance. Yet it is so hard for us to see that.

As i reflect on what he said, I realised how i've slacked in my prayer warfare. How I could have let loose the boundaries. And i dont want to stay this way. I want to move on and even if i should fall, at least im NOT not moving. I also dont want to believe that once people start working, you will be too caught up with work and therefore you cannot pray or you cannot have a fufilling relationship with Him. I dont want that. I believe all of us were created to be more. To do more. To be Conquerors in the different aspects of our lives because Jesus Christ has already conquered Satan through the Cross and He wants us to experience the sweet success. Success is a beautiful feeling and im sure in my new journey into working life, He will allow me to taste the sweet success of being a conqueror in my workplace. To be an impact in my dept and my company. I may be slow and not good in handling admin stuff. I may not be certain of the terms people use in the office. I may be watched and heard by the people around my cubicle. But I am no loser.


-8:31 AM

Everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith.

1 John 5:4

7th June 2007, I got my first job. Yeap. My first resume sent out and my first job ever and I'm now a sales and marketing assistant in Aramis, Estee Lauder. Met the team on thursday morning and was treated to lunch by my supervisor. Nice people, nice environment. Once in a while you will hear people joking and laughing and sometimes scolding on the phone. Very office like. I inherited a nice table, haha quite near to marj which im so so so thankful! Coz it is quite comforting to know you are somewhere near someone you know know.

First two days of work was definitely overwhelming. Coz i was introduced to alot of paperwork stuff that I would have to take over from the previous person before me. Alot of admin and me being a non-admin person, one who aint exactly organised, it is really challenging. It was information overload on friday when Josephine (the person before me) tried to explain the procedures of getting the tasks done. Who to sign what, how to generate the sales reports, tabulate what with what, what to prepare for certain things, need to stock up the stationary and all was really hard to remember and something that im not too used to. As she poured out what needs to be done and etc, i felt really stressed la. In my head i was thinking, oh dear how am i going to do this all by myself and what if i screwed things up and get scolded. geez. So i tried to copy notes of every procedure but new information about another procedure just pops up and so i'm copying notes everywhere.

But i guess it is a good experience for me and a skill that would benefit me as well. Perharps next time i would be a pro in admin man. hahaha oh wells.


-10:34 PM

Scenic view outside cultural centre

At the Famous DIM SUM PLACE @ Happy Valley. They have good egg tarts!

Outside St Pauls, Macau

In front of St Paul's

Another side of Hong Kong

Me!

Lights, Camera and Action!

-9:12 PM

My comfort in my suffering is this:
Your Promise preserves my life, O Lord.

Psalm 119: 50

It's been some time logging into blogger and the first thing i noticed is, everything's in chinese! Now im trying to figure out what the tabs are to update my links.

Well have not long ago finished my exams, passed it, went for a 9day trip to Hong Kong and soon to embark on a new journey and begin a life of a working adult. WOW. It's really fast. But i must say that I enjoyed my student life, how God had lead me through and made me emerge victorious. I was not cut out to be einstein or a baby genius who would topped spelling bee competitions but I was one who was loved and favoured by my Father. Honestly, how i made through university was definitely through His grace. I never expected my mediocre grades to bring me anywhere but i definitely remember those car rides to JJC. In my dad's car to college I still remember myself looking at the SRC field, the hostel buildings on the hill and I told Him, O Lord I really hope i can get in NUS. It's my dream school.

Today i have graduated from that school and though attained mediocre results, i have enjoyed the modules I have taken and the friends i have made. That's an opportunity that doesnt come easily by my own strength. Thank you dear Lord.

Had a call from estee lauder last wed to do an interview later in the evening the same day. It was my first interview and man was i excited and scared at the same time. Within the 3hours i had to prep myself up and practice my smiles for an interview i hoped to impress. My creative and dramatic interpretation of going to an interview had been sitting in a huge board room and facing a panel of 3 execuetives across a long table that extends to I dunno where. Again i emphasize dramatic. haha. But my interview that day took a different turn.

Met Christine, the one who's interviewing me and supposedly my immediate supervisor should i get the job and we sat in a small meeting room. She started by telling me about the position of being a Sales and Marketing assistant which i summarized as follows:

1) generate sales reports which means i must be good in excel n im not.
2) be an assistant to the brand manager
3) liase with the merchandises
4) do stuff for other ppl.. and i must also learn to say No at times to them. Again im not too good at that either but have been training in Crossover. ahahaha
5) expect to get crap from ppl. This is the REAL WORLD.
6) expect to work weekends especially when there are projects.

There are perharps more but that was all i managed to catch coz it was really overwhelming for a fresh graduate who expected a simple interview that asked for "So why do you want to join estee, what are your strengths" n bla. Christine asked me if i'm ready for this. But being overwhelmed and not able to think straight yet, i said yes. I wasnt sure. I needed to think. There were many considerations i had in mind then. Like how about my cell if i had to work crazy hours, how about my family time? N of coz what about my time with God? What if i had such long hours and so much work that i cant come church anymore!!! That was really scary for me coz i enjoy church, the company, the encouragement i receive from each n everyone of them. So the past few days was just trying to think about it as i listened to people's comments.

Calvin said that the learning curve would nto be just steep but almost vertical. But it would be a good experience and a good way to start out in this industry. My JC friends also said that work is like that one. The first few weeks you would feel worried but after that you would be ok. My decision? Well i wouldnt want to say no to a monthly wage now and i know that for other jobs it wld be the same as well. Maybe worse. But if God had opened this door for me then I'm sure I'll be in safe hands. For like what Calvin says and I believe it as well, there is power in God's annointing and I believe that it is in me. So people who try to takan me will kena jialat jialat..

Now am waiting for the call from Christine to see of I need the second interview by the brand manager and might even start work this week.

I am thankful to God and his apt and godly timing that allowed this to happen. For Calvin and Majorie who had been of soooooooooo much help.. For Eunice my dearest friend who was with me and helping me edit. Thank you is not enough for all of you..


-2:28 AM

Is any one of you in trouble?
He should pray.
Is any of you happy?
Let him sing songs of praise.
Is any one of you sick?
He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and annoint him with oil in the name of the Lord.
And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well;
the Lord will raise him up.

James 5: 13-15

Some situations when you might have exam gitters:
a) first time taking an exam
b) first time after a long time taking an exam
c) when you have stomachache just before the exam that doesnt go off even when you make the trip to the loo.
d) when you know that you so totally dint prepare for the paper and you are prepared to fail
e) when you reach the exam hall and you see so many people around you flipping notes, trying to memorise as much as they could when it's like a minunte before you enter the exam hall.
f) when one of your course mate comes up to you to ask your opininon on the subject and you cant answer and there is no time to flip through your notes.
g) when you studied for the wrong paper
h) caught in a massive jam 15 minutes before the paper and you are still near your place.
i) (and the most important of it all) when you know that this is the last time you will take examinations. what an irony.


-6:06 AM

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day-and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.
2Tim 4: 7-8

I received an envelope of pictures Rara took long long time ago. Attached was this card with her well wishes and the usuals "keep in touch". But apart from those, there was also this red envelope and behind it it stated, "Look behind you!". Interesting. Apparently Mr Chia had asked her to passed the red envelope to me for quite some time already but she didnt had the time.

Well if you know Mr Chia you would know that he is a man an old man now (who doesnt appear to look like his age by the way) with deep philosophical thoughts. He is one who goes beyond the surface, shows his emotions by the colour of shirt he wears (Blue is his favourite colour but it is also the colour that meant "I am feeling emotional. Don't disturb me.") and he is a great teacher. One who inspired me to push myself further. One who believed in me and my art. One who questions Art. One who loves Art. One who taught me to love Art.

Tearing the envelope up felt as though I was opening Pandora's box. Strange feelings rushed in. But as i slowly look through the contents one by one, i finally know what was behind me. And so i msged him straight away. And he asked "What is it that you see?". I paused to make sure that i know what I saw. I paused and look through it once more. I paused and then started to take up my phone. And my reply:

I see a process, a transformation.
Metamorphosis.
I see smiles, tears and joy.
I see yesterday, today and tomorrow.
But most of all I see,
myself looking at what's behind me.

He replied the next day. And this was what he left me.

What you said was very touching.
Yes what's behind us is our shadows and there's so much to learn from the shadow telling us of the light in front.

So what is behind you?


-10:49 AM

This pic of us Charms is so old school la..

Another pic in an empty cabin on the way back from Ying's place.

-9:49 AM




-6:18 AM




-5:55 AM

Though the fig tree may not blossom,
Nor fruit be on the vines;

Though the labour of the olive may fail,
And the fields yield no food;

Though the flock may be cut off from the fold,
And there be no herd in the stalls,

Yet I will rejoice in the Lord,
I will joy in the God of my salvation

The Lord God is my strength;
He will make my feet like a deer's feet,
And He will make me walk on my high hills.

Habakkuk 3: 17-19.

What powerful verses. Reading it again just gives me a renewed hope in the Lord. The past few weeks have been different. Excitingly different. Things happened and i found myself being challenged to an uncomfortable position. But He remained faithful. Through the tears and that the heartaches, i found myself at His feet once more. It was painful to hear what you said through another. It was painful to know all these while you kept me away from you. How you tried to give excuses and I was in the dark.

I am still hurt dear. And i bet you'll din't know how much it had bruised me. I am still struggling to find a chance to meet up with you to clear the misunderstanding. I don't know how it will turn out but i know i have to. Oh precious Lord grant me your understanding and your compassion just like how when we disappoint You, You are still there. You forgave so easily and You looked beyond our sins. You see and accept us as who we are. Let me see and accept her as who she was and is. Let me love her the way You loved me.

Rachel

PeiQi

Beverly

Matt

Eunice

Nasageek

Jonk

Kester

BoBo

Cellulights!

Ivan

Jasmine

Sasha

Tanya

Sereneeee

Vicson

Calvin

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